La Chanson de Chaos Complet
by Sword Pen
Summary: A high school production of Phantom is a grand disaster, and a few people decide to write anonymous notes. However, what starts as a practical joke gets complicated quickly when the “Drama Ghost” decides to lend a hand…
1. Chapter 1

Aaa

**Disclaimer:** I own… less than you think I do, believe me. Different names, familiar characters. XD

**A/N:** I'll update when I get some feedback. See endnote and summary for information on what I'm doing here. Otherwise, R&R!

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**For Lack of a Better Title…**

"It's over now, the Music of the Night…" Joshua Farris's voice cracked on the last syllable sending a visible shudder through "the mob".

_Thank god!_ Christa Dayton forced a smile, swept onto the stage, beamed, and bowed to the wildly enthusiastic audience of… the drama coach and a few bored looking crewmen.

She then shouldered her way out of the auditorium past the boisterous, period-dressed crowd of teenagers who no doubt felt that two hours of their precious T.V. watching/Sports playing/Computer chatting lives had been unjustly wasted.

"Chris!" cracking her gum, Margaret dashed after her friend only to lose sight of her in the halls. _Didn't she hear me?_

Christa didn't stop. She wasn't really in a good position to talk to anyone right now. _Why did they let a tone deaf man run the drama program?_ Only… well, nobody knew. Finding the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face and wrinkled her nose at her reflection in the mirror. Tipping her head carefully, she dislodged a squishy orange ear plug.

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**A/N: **Well, what do you think? I know this chapter's super-short, but I'm just seeing if people are interested. This will not be an exact reproduction of Phantom, cuz then it would be boring, but the "real world" is gonna parallel the musical quite a bit… I plant to start on a humorous note and get darker as the story progresses… 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Ahem. I own the '04 movie, the soundtrack of that movie, the greatest version of Phantom ever (aka the original London cast recording with Michael Crawford), I have the Original novel on order from Amazon, and Kay's book on order as well. So yes, I do own Phantom of the Opera. Or I'm just obsessed. Take your pick.

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Review Replies: 

Belle Princesse168: Thanx for giving me a chance, I had no idea where I was going with that chapter and the beginning of this one, but now I've got the central idea pretty much figured...

Lord of the Bees: No, I haven't abandoned SLC. And did you just flame me? XD This idea just hit me in the head (literally) when I listened to Michael Crawford sing "All I Ask of You", swooned, and hit my head on a table. So I figured I might as well put it up. P.S.- It's spelled "giggle"…

Googleyes: Thank you! This one is much longer, possibly the longest individual chapter I've ever written!

Avatarwolf: There is more tone deafness in this chapter and more still to come!

Fairytaleprincess91: Why thank-you! I'm glad someone enjoys my psychotic-err… creative genius!

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**READ THIS NOTE:** Okay, I've finally figured out where I'm going will this. It took a few more renditions of "All I Ask of You" (see note to Lord of the Bees) but I've discovered that this will be less dark than I originally thought. Have fun and remember to review! The end of the chapter is better…

**La Chanson de Chaos Complet – Letter Writing: The New Anger Management!**

The Ashville Drama Club already had an impressive history of musical performances. The audience was always very enthusiastic. They had practically cheered Javert off the bridge in Les Mis and Frollo down the stairs in Notre Dame de Paris. Mr. Firmin, the Drama coach, had been beside himself with joy and the audience had been "quite taken", in his words, with the voice of the admirable Joshua Farris in both of the above parts.

So, all things said and done, Mr. Firmin and his stellar cast of the aforementioned boisterous, period-dressed crowd of teenagers had decided to take on Phantom of the Opera. And Christa Dayton had just about had enough.

Being slightly germaphobic, Christa disposed of the reusable earplugs, making sure she wasn't seen, and changed clothes in a bathroom stall. The Ashville Pharmacy had just about made a fortune in orange foam off the girl they thought was a swim team star. Christa sighed. _If only…_

Looking in her purse, she discovered that she only had one more pair of earplugs and decided to stop by the store on the way home. Little did she know what awaited her…

"I'm sorry, Miss Dayton, they're all sold out. They're really popular with the younger crowd nowadays," the aged store worker said to Christa's shocked face. "But surely you must have enough to last several months…"

_Okay, maybe I should have heeded the big red "REUSABLE!" sticker on the box._ But it was too late now. She had to take action… At home, Christa sat at her desk and began to write a letter…

-oOo-

Charlotte was rather pissed off. _Why did I ever sign up for drama?_ She recalled a day about a month ago, after Les Mis had finished running…

_Principal Andrews and Mr. Firmin were arguing. Charlotte thought it sounded rather interesting, so being your average Cliché!Gossipy!Blonde!Cheerleader, she stopped to listen…_

_Andrews: __Damnable__! We're a laughingstock! This is __Damnable_

_Firmin: But we're all the talk! It's publicity, and the word's moving fast! Free publicity!_

_Andrews: You haven't even got a cast! _

_It was true that half the cast had walked out after a large piece of scenery had come crashing down on the unfortunate barricade, to the great amusement of the audience… This was also the line that told Charlotte they weren't discussing their secret love affair and that she had better get going._

_However, she wasn't fast enough…_

"_No, really! Mr. Firmin, I'm tone deaf!"_

"_Oh," he said sympathetically, "I've always thought it must be horrible to be tone deaf. But it's alright! You can play La Carlotta! In fact, I insist!" _

And so there Charlotte was, playing the world's worst singer in a room full of singers more tone deaf than she was. And of course, the insufferable Mr. Firmin, who would simply smile and nod. _I'm supposed to be the one who screeches, dammit! __ME!_

Not that she was a control freak or anything… Charlotte smoothed her hair and got out her sparkly pink gel pen to write a letter…

-oOo-

Raoul was the epitome of perfect. Lovely fashion sense, glorious hair, and a fine tenor. The only bee in his surprisingly pink and lacy bonnet was French. Well, actually the bee wasn't French, it was, you know, _French_. Wait… never mind. Let's quit with the idioms and just say it. Raoul was failing French.

Mme. Massouette sighed. "I don't know how to say this any other way… but just why are you in this class?"

Raoul considered for a moment. "So I can stare dreamily at a totally oblivious Christa Dayton" did not seem to be an acceptable answer. He settled for the age-old fallback of, "Ummmmmmmm……………."

Mme. Masouette sighed yet again. "I thought so. Well remember, practice makes perfect." _Or perhaps at least abysmal in your case, _she amended silently.

Drama practice and the meeting with his French teacher had made Raoul rather late in getting home, so it was many hairsprays later that he was finally able to sit down and stare into space… _I know! _He thought_. I'll kill two birds with one stone!_ He had always wondered how that could be possible unless those two birds were having a… you know… "intimate relationship."

Raoul's mind… (Shudder)

Anyways, let's quit with the idioms and just say it. Raoul, too, sat down to write a note to the Drama Teacher. In French.

-oOo-

At the same time, someone was prowling the darkened corridors of the Ashville High School.

In the darkness, a gloved hand gripped the door handle of the auditorium. Menacing music began to play. Cursing, the figure fumbled in a cloak pocket, pulled out a cell phone, opened it, and snapped it shut again.

Composing itself, the figure made its stealthy way toward the stage.

There was a loud tear, and an even louder cry of "DAMN IT, WHY DOES THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!"

Using more choice profanity, the specter yanked itself free. _Mental note: Next time, watch the cloak._

-oOo-

Mr. Firmin swept into Drama practice the next day.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," he announced dramatically, "Mme. Massouette has given me a rather interesting note…"

He was too preoccupied to notice the slight guilty expressions on the faces of four teenagers.

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Ooh… a cliffie!

**A/N: **Suggestions for "notes" will be taken, and the next chapter will be funnier! I just had to get the plot moving…


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